We're under attack! Light the signal!
Now all of China knows you're here.
Perfect.
Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our northern border.
Impossible. No one can get through the Great Wall.
Shan-Yu is leading them.
We'll set up defenses around the palace immediately.
No. Send your troops to protect my people.
- Chi Fu. - Yes, Your Highness?
Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces.
Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible.
Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.
I won't take any chances, General.
A single grain of rice can tip the scale.
One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.
"Quiet and demure.
"Graceful. Polite. Delicate.
"Refined. Poised.
Punctual."
Little Brother!
Little Brother.
There you are.
Who's the smartest doggy in the world? Come on, smart boy.
Can you help me with my chores today?
Honorable ancestors...
please help Mulan impress the Matchmaker today.
Please.
Please help her.
- Father, I brought your... - Mulan.
I brought a spare. The doctor said three cups of tea in the morning...
- Mulan. - and three at night.
Mulan, you should already be in town. We are counting on you to...
To uphold the family honor.
Don't worry, Father. I won't let you down.
- Wish me luck. - Hurry!
I'm going to pray some more.
Fa Li, is your daughter here yet?
The Matchmaker is not a patient woman.
Of all days to be late! I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.
How lucky can they be? They're dead.
Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need.
This is your chance to prove yourself.
Grandma, no!
Yep, this cricket's a lucky one!
I'm here.
What? But, Mama, I had to...
None of your excuses. Now, let's get you cleaned up.
This is what you give me To work with
Well, honey I've seen worse
We're gonna turn This sow's ear
- Into a silk purse - It's freezing.
It would have been warm if you were here on time.
We'll have you washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all
- Mulan, what's this? - Notes...
in case I forget something.
Hold this. We'll need more luck than I thought.
Wait and see When we're through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
- With good fortune - And a great hairdo
You'll bring honor to us all
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day
- Men want girls with good taste - Calm.
- Obedient. - Who work fast-paced
- With good breeding - And a tiny waist
You'll bring honor to us all
We all must serve our emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons
- When we're through you can't fail - When we're through
- Like a lotus blossom, soft and pale - You can't fail
- When we're through - How could any fellow say no sale
- Soft and pale, how could any fellow - Like a lotus blossom
- To us all - You'll bring honor to us all
There. You're ready.
Not yet. An apple for serenity.
A pendant for balance.
Beads of jade
For beauty
You must proudly
Show it
Now add a cricket
Just for luck
And even you can't blow it
Ancestors, hear my plea
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my family tree
Keep my father standing tall
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our Matchmaker
Destiny Guard our girls
And our future as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly On these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll
- Please bring honor to us - Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us all
- "Fa Mulan." - Present!
Speaking without permission.
Who spit in her bean curd?
Too skinny.
Not good for bearing sons.
Recite the final admonition.
Well?
Fulfill your duties calmly and respectfully.
Reflect before you snack...
Act! This shall bring you honor and glory.
This way.
Now, pour the tea.
To please your future in-laws...
you must demonstrate a sense of dignity...
and refinement.
You must also be poised.
- Pardon me. - And silent!
Could I just take that back... for a moment?
Why, you clumsy...
I think it's going well, don't you?
Put it out! Put it out! Put it out!
You are a disgrace!
You may look like a bride...
but you will never bring your family honor!
Look at me
I will never pass
For a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter
Can it be
I'm not meant To play this part
Now I see
That if I were truly To be myself
I would break My family's heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I
Don't know
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am
Inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am
Inside
My, my.
What beautiful blossoms we have this year.
But, look, this one's late.
But I'll bet that when it blooms...
it will be the most beautiful of all.
What is it?
Mulan, stay inside.
Citizens, I bring a proclamation from the Imperial City.
The Huns have invaded China.
By order of the emperor,
one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army.
The Hsiao family.
The Yi family.
I will serve the emperor in my father's place.
- The Fa family. - No!
I am ready to serve the emperor.
- Father, you can't go. - Mulan!
Please, sir, my father has fought bravely...
Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter
to hold her tongue in a man's presence.
Mulan, you dishonor me.
Report tomorrow to the Wu Zhong camp.
Yes, sir.
The Chu family!
The Wen family!
The Chang family!
You shouldn't have to go! There are plenty of young men to fight for China.
It is an honor to protect my country and my family.
So, you'll die for honor.
- I will die doing what's right. - But if you...
I know my place! It is time you learned yours.
- Mulan is gone! - What?
It can't be.
Mulan!
No.
You must go after her. She could be killed.
If I reveal her...
she will be.
Ancestors, hear our prayer.
Watch over Mulan.
Mushu, awaken.
I live!
So tell me what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor.
You just say the word and I'm there.
Let me say somethin'. Anybody foolish enough
to threaten our family, vengeance will be mine!
Mushu! These are the family guardians.
- They... - Protect the family.
And you, O Demoted One?
I... ring the gong.
That's right. Now, wake up the ancestors.
One family reunion comin' right up.
Okay, people, look alive. Let's go. Come on. Get up.
Let's move it. Rise and shine. Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me.
I knew it. I knew it. That Mulan was a troublemaker from the start!
Don't look at me. She gets it from your side of the family.
- She's just trying to help her father. - But if she's discovered,
Fa Zhou is forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family.
- Traditional values will disintegrate. - And they'll lose the farm.
My children never caused trouble. They all became acupuncturists.
- Well, we can't all be acupuncturists. - No!
Your great-granddaughter had to be a cross-dresser!
- Let a guardian bring her back. - Yes, awaken the most cunning.
No. The swiftest.
- No. Send the wisest. - Silence!
We must send the most powerful of all.
Okay, okay, I get the drift. I'll go.
Y'all don't think I can do it. Watch this here.
Jump back. I'm pretty hot, huh?
Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove it.
You had your chance to protect the Fa family.
Your misguidance led Fa Deng to disaster.
- Yeah, thanks a lot. - And your point is?
The point is we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve Mulan.
What... What... I'm a real dragon!
You are not worthy of this spot. Now, awaken the Great Stone Dragon.
So you'll get back to me on the job thing?
Just one chance, is that too much to ask?
I mean, it's not like it'll kill ya.
Yo, Rocky, wake up! Ya gotta go fetch Mulan!
Come on, boy! Go get her! Go on!
Come on.
Hello? Hello!
Hello!
Stony?
Stony? Man, they're gonna kill me.
Great Stone Dragon...
have you awakened?
Yes, I just woke up.
I'm... I'm the Great Stone Dragon. Good morning.
I will go forth and fetch Mulan.
Did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?
Go! The fate of the Fa family
rests in your claws.
Don't even worry about it. I will not lose face.
My elbow. I know I twisted something.
That's just great. Now what? I'm doomed!
And all 'cause Miss Man decides to take her little drag show on the road.
Go get her? What's the matter with you?
After this Great Stone Humpty-Dumpty mess,
I'd have to bring her home with a medal to get back in the temple.
Wait a minute. That's it! I make Mulan a war hero
and they'll beg me to come back to work.
That's the master plan. You done it now, man.
Hey, what makes you think you're comin'?
You're lucky?
Do I look like a sucker to you?
What you mean, a loser?
What if I pop an antenna off and throw it across the yard?
Then who's the loser, me or you?
Imperial scouts.
Shan-Yu.
Nice work, gentlemen. You found the Hun Army.
The emperor will stop you.
Stop me? He invited me.
By building his wall, he challenged my strength.
Well, I'm here to play his game.
Go! Tell your emperor to send his strongest armies.
I'm ready.
How many men does it take to deliver a message?
One.
Okay, okay, how about this?
Excuse me. Where do I sign in?
I see you have a sword. I have one too.
They're very manly and tough.
I'm working on it!
Who am I fooling?
It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army.
Did I hear someone ask for a miracle?
Let me hear you say "ah"!
- That's close enough. - A ghost.
Get ready, Mulan. Your serpentine salvation is at hand!
For I have been sent by your ancestors...
to guide you through your masquerade.
If you're gonna stay, you're working.
So heed my word! 'Cause if the army finds out you're a girl...
the penalty is death!
- Who are you? - Who am I? Who am I?
I am the guardian of lost souls.
I am the powerful, the pleasurable...
the indestructible Mushu.
Pretty hot, huh?
My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard.
I don't do that tongue thing.
- You're... - Intimidating?
- Awe-inspiring? - Tiny.
I'm travel-size for your convenience.
If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright.
Down, Bessie. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.
For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor.
All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family.
Make a note of this. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow...
Stop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm just nervous. I've never done this before.
Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more.
We clear on that? All right.
Let's get this show on the road! Cri-Kee, get the bags.
Let's move it, heifer.
Okay, this is it. Time to show 'em your man walk.
Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up and strut.
Two, three... Break it down. Hup, two, three. And work it!
- Beautiful, isn't he? - They're disgusting.
No, they're men. Now, you gonna have to act just like them, so pay attention.
Look. This tattoo will protect me from harm.
I hope you can get your money back.
I don't think I can do this.
It's all attitude. Be tough, like this guy here.
- What are you lookin' at? - Punch him. It's how men say hello.
Yao, you've made a friend.
Good. Now slap him on the behind. They like that.
I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy.
Yao, relax and chant with me.
- Feel better? - Yeah.
You ain't worth my time, chicken boy.
Chicken boy? Say that to my face, ya limp noodle!
Sorry, Ling.
Hey!
Whoa! You're dead!
There he goes!
Hey, guys.
The Huns have struck here, here and here.
I'll take the main troops up to the Tung Shao Pass...
and stop Shan-Yu before he destroys this village.
Excellent strategy, sir.
I do love surprises.
You will stay and train the new recruits.
When Chi Fu believes you're ready...
you will join us, Captain.
Captain?
This is an enormous responsibility, General.
Perhaps a soldier with more experience...
Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques...
an impressive military lineage.
I believe Li Shang will do an excellent job.
I will. I won't let you down. This is... I mean...
- Yes, sir. - Very good, then.
We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City.
I'll expect a full report in three weeks.
And I won't leave anything out.
Captain Li Shang.
Leader of China's finest troops.
No. The greatest troops of all time.
Most impressive.
Good luck, Captain.
Good luck, Father.
Day one.
Soldiers!
He started it!
I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp.
Sorry.
I mean, sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is...
when you get those manly urges and you just gotta kill somethin'...
fix things, cook outdoors...
- What's your name? - I...
Your commanding officer just asked you a question.
I've got a name. And it's a boy's name too.
- Ling. How 'bout Ling? - His name is Ling.
I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours!
- Try... ah, Chu. - Ah Chu.
- Ah Chu? - Gesundheit. I kill myself.
- Mushu. - Mushu?
- No. - Then what is it?
- Ping was my best friend growin' up. - It's Ping.
- Ping? - Of course, Ping did steal my...
Yes, my name is Ping.
Let me see your conscription notice.
- Fa Zhou? The Fa Zhou? - I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
He... doesn't talk about me much.
I can see why. The boy's an absolute lunatic.
Okay, gentlemen, thanks to your new friend, Ping...
you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice.
And tomorrow, the real work begins.
You know, we have to work on your people skills.
All right! Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Come on.
Get your clothes on. Get ready. Got breakfast for ya.
Look, you get porridge, and it's happy to see you.
Hey, get outta there! You gonna make people sick.
- Am I late? - No time to talk.
It's your first day of trainin', so listen to your teacher,
play nice with the kids, unless they wanna fight,
then kick the other kid's butt.
But I don't wanna kick the other kid's butt.
Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face.
I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover.
Come on! Scare me, girl.
That's my tough-lookin' warrior. That's what I'm talkin' about.
Now, get out there and make me proud.
- What do you mean, the troops left? - They what?
Wait! You forgot your sword.
My little baby, off to destroy people.
Order. People, order.
- I'd like a pan-fried noodle. - Sweet and pungent shrimp.
- Moo goo gai pan. - That's not funny.
Looks like our new friend slept in this morning.
Hello, Ping. Are ya hungry?
Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.
Soldiers!
You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning.
Anyone who acts otherwise... will answer to me.
Tough guy.
Yao.
Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
I'll get that arrow, pretty boy...
and I'll do it with my shirt on.
One moment. You seem to be missing something.
This represents discipline...
and this represents strength.
You need both to reach the arrow.
We've got a long way to go.
Let's get down to business
To defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons
You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
Out of you
Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your center
You are sure to win
You're a spineless Pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man
Out of you
- I'm never gonna catch my breath - Say good-bye to those who knew me
Boy, was I a fool in school For cutting gym
This guy's got 'em scared to death
Hope he doesn't see right through me
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim
- Be a man - You must be swift as a coursing river
- Be a man - With all the force of a great typhoon
- Be a man - With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side
Of the moon
Time is racing toward us
Till the Huns arrive
Heed my every order
And you might survive
You're unsuited for the rage of war
So pack up, go home You're through
How could I make a man
Out of you
Be a man
- You must be swift as a coursing river - Be a man
- With all the force of a great typhoon - Be a man
With all the strength Of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of
The moon
Be a man
- We must be swift as a coursing river - Be a man
- With all the force of a great typhoon - Be a man
With all the strength Of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of
The moon
What do you see?
Black pine, from the high mountains.
White horse hair. Imperial stallions.
Sulphur, from cannons.
This doll came from a village in the Tung Shao Pass...
where the Imperial Army is waiting for us.
We can avoid them easily.
No. The quickest way to the emperor is through that pass.
Besides, the little girl will be missing her doll.
We should return it to her.
Hey, no, this is not a good idea. What if somebody sees you?
Just because I look like a man, I don't have to smell like one.
So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky.
Well, myself, I kind of like that corn chip smell.
All right. That's enough.
Now, get out before you get all pruny.
Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch.
Yeah, yeah. "Stand watch, Mushu...
"while I blow our secret with my stupid girlie habits."
Hygiene!
Me first! Me first!
We're doomed! There are a couple of things I know they're bound to notice!
Hey, Ping!
Hi, guys. I didn't know you were here.
I was just washing. So now I'm clean, and I'm gonna go. Bye-bye.